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Mother Continues Sharing Her Disabled Son’s Story Despite Cruel Online Abuse
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A mother who shares her four-year-old son's life with cerebral palsy online says she has no intention of allowing cruel comments from strangers to silence her.
Candice Clay, 33, has spent years documenting parts of family life with her son, Lennie, on social media.
Her posts have attracted a mixture of encouragement, advice and criticism. But she says some of the messages have crossed a deeply disturbing line, including comments questioning why her disabled son is alive and accusations that she is exploiting him for online content.
Despite the abuse, Clay says she continues to share parts of Lennie's story because social media has provided her family with information, connections with other parents and financial support for his care.
Her experience also raises a much larger question facing parents today:
When a child is too young to decide what should be shared about them online, where should parents draw the line?
That question has become particularly complicated for parents of children with disabilities, whose experiences may provide valuable information and support to other families while simultaneously involving highly personal medical information.
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Lennie's difficult start in life
According to the report featuring Clay's story, Lennie was born prematurely in January 2022 at 27 weeks and weighed approximately 2 pounds 12 ounces.
He spent about 10 weeks in neonatal intensive care.
After leaving hospital, he was diagnosed with periventricular leukomalacia (PVL), a form of brain injury that can occur particularly in premature infants.
PVL affects the brain's white matter around the ventricles. Premature babies are at greater risk, and the condition can be associated with motor difficulties and cerebral palsy.
For Clay, the diagnosis brought a new set of questions about her son's development and future.
She says she initially struggled to find enough information and support and eventually turned to the internet to find other parents facing similar circumstances.
Social media became a source of information
Clay says online communities helped her learn more about Lennie's condition and understand the importance of therapy and early intervention.
When Lennie was around six months old, she says the family began paying for private physiotherapy.
The additional treatment created financial pressure.
Clay, a former social worker, became Lennie's main carer while her husband, William, continued working.
Eventually, she began sharing more of their experience online and created a fundraising campaign to help pay for therapy and equipment.
According to the report, the initial fundraising effort brought in approximately £1,500.
Clay says the wider fundraising and social-media effort later helped raise more than £20,000 for Lennie's treatment and equipment.
Her online audience grew
What began partly as a way of finding support developed into a much larger online presence.
According to the report, Clay's social-media content has attracted thousands of followers, with some videos receiving very large numbers of views.
The attention has brought benefits.
Other parents have reportedly contacted her because they found her posts about therapy, development and everyday life useful.
For families who cannot afford private treatment, seeing another parent explain an exercise or describe an experience can sometimes provide information they can discuss with their own healthcare professionals.
This broader role of online communities is not unusual.
The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that digital media can provide important support and information for caregivers, including parents dealing with medical conditions and other difficult family circumstances.
But the support came with cruelty
The larger audience also exposed the family to hostile comments.
Clay says people accused her of exploiting her son for content.
More disturbing, she says some commenters questioned whether Lennie should be alive or suggested he should be placed in care.
Those comments are particularly troubling because they move beyond criticism of a parent's social-media choices and target a child because of his disability.
Clay says the abuse affected her emotionally, particularly when she was still adjusting to life after Lennie's diagnosis.
Over time, however, she says she developed greater resilience and became more determined to continue sharing the family's experience.
Why Clay says she keeps posting
For Clay, the purpose of her social-media presence is not simply fundraising.
She says it has helped her build relationships with other parents who understand the realities of raising a child with additional needs.
It has also allowed her to share both positive and difficult moments.
That distinction matters.
A social-media feed can easily create an unrealistic impression that life with a disability is either endlessly tragic or endlessly inspirational.
Clay's approach, as described in the report, is to show ordinary family life alongside therapy, challenges and achievements.
She believes that giving people a more realistic picture can help families who are beginning their own journeys.
The debate over “disability sharenting”
But there is another side to the story.
The practice of parents sharing information about their children online is commonly referred to as “sharenting.”
UNICEF describes sharenting as parents sharing information, photographs, videos or stories about their children outside the immediate family through platforms such as social media and blogs.
There can be genuine benefits.
Parents can find communities, exchange information, seek advice and reduce feelings of isolation.
But experts also warn that children may have little control over information posted about them before they are old enough to understand what a permanent digital footprint means.
The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly advises parents to consider both the benefits and potential risks of sharing children's photographs and information online.
Medical information makes the question more complicated
Sharing a photograph of a child's birthday is not necessarily equivalent to publicly discussing a child's diagnosis, therapy or personal care.
Medical and developmental information can be particularly sensitive.
A parent may share it with the intention of educating other families or finding support, but the information can remain online long after the child has grown up.
That creates an uncomfortable question:
Will the child one day want the world to know this about them?
A four-year-old cannot meaningfully answer that question in the same way an older teenager or adult might.
UNICEF recommends that parents consider their child's perspective, avoid unnecessarily personal or embarrassing information and think about the potential long-term consequences of what is shared.
A second mother took the opposite approach
The debate is illustrated by the experience of another mother, Kelly Kemp, who previously documented aspects of her autistic daughter's childhood online.
Kemp wrote extensively about her daughter's diagnosis and experiences, including the challenges surrounding autism and the support she found through online communities.
Her earlier writing shows how online communities can help parents feel less isolated after receiving a child's diagnosis.
However, according to the report featuring Clay's story, Kemp eventually reconsidered how much of her daughter's childhood should remain publicly available and chose to remove much of the material.
Her decision reflected a growing concern about something parents cannot fully control once content has been published:
The child may eventually want a different relationship with that story.
The consent problem
This is perhaps the hardest part of the debate.
Parents are legally and practically responsible for many decisions involving young children.
They make decisions about healthcare, education, photographs and family life every day.
But social media introduces a different kind of permanence.
A photograph can be copied.
A video can be downloaded.
A post can be reshared.
And information published years earlier can potentially remain accessible long after the original account has disappeared.
The American Psychological Association has highlighted concerns about children's privacy, autonomy and safety as parents increasingly document their children's lives online.
The American Academy of Pediatrics likewise notes that children and teenagers may have different feelings about their parents' posts as they grow older and become more aware of their digital identities.
Advocacy can help without revealing everything
There is also an important distinction between sharing a parent's experience and publishing every detail of a child's private life.
A parent might say:
“I found this physiotherapy approach useful and other parents may want to discuss it with their healthcare providers.”
That is different from publishing embarrassing footage of a child during a vulnerable medical episode.
Parents can advocate for disability awareness while still protecting sensitive information.
They can also choose to:
- Avoid sharing exact locations
- Limit identifying information
- Avoid embarrassing or intimate images
- Think carefully before posting medical details
- Use privacy controls where appropriate
- Ask an older child for their opinion
- Reconsider whether a post is necessary
- Keep particularly sensitive information within trusted communities
UNICEF and the AAP both emphasize that there is no single rule that makes sharing completely safe; instead, parents should weigh the benefits against privacy and safety concerns.
The financial question is complicated too
Clay's experience also raises an uncomfortable issue around money.
Social media helped her raise funds for her son's therapy and equipment.
For a family facing substantial care costs, that support can be meaningful.
But once a child's story becomes part of fundraising or income-generating content, the boundaries can become harder to define.
Parents may genuinely be sharing their experiences because they need help.
At the same time, audiences can begin to expect more content, while platforms may reward increasingly personal or emotional posts with greater visibility.
That creates an ethical question:
At what point does sharing a child's experience primarily benefit the child, and when does it primarily benefit the audience or the parent?
There is no universal answer.
Each family has different circumstances, and parents may make different decisions in good faith.
Social media can be both a lifeline and a risk
It would be too simplistic to portray social media as either entirely harmful or entirely beneficial.
For parents raising children with disabilities, online communities can provide something that is sometimes difficult to find offline: people who genuinely understand what they are experiencing.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes that digital media can help caregivers find information and support, including around medical and parenting challenges.
But the same platforms can expose children to unwanted attention, harassment and permanent records of highly personal experiences.
The challenge is therefore not simply deciding whether to share.
It is deciding what to share, how much to share and whose interests the post serves.
What parents can ask before posting
Before sharing something about a child, parents may find it useful to ask:
Would my child be comfortable with this later?
Imagine the child is 16 or 25 and seeing the post for the first time.
Would they feel respected?
Does the post reveal sensitive medical information?
A diagnosis, therapy history or intimate medical detail may deserve greater protection than an ordinary family photograph.
Is the child in a vulnerable situation?
If the answer is yes, consider whether the moment really needs to be public.
Does the post identify where the child lives, goes to school or receives treatment?
The more identifying information combined in one account, the greater the potential privacy risk.
Am I sharing because it helps my child or because the audience expects it?
That question can be uncomfortable, but it is worth asking.
Could I tell the story without showing my child's face or revealing personal details?
Sometimes the parent's experience can be shared without making the child's entire life public.
Lennie's story highlights a difficult modern reality
Candice Clay says sharing her son's journey has brought her family meaningful support.
She has found a community.
She has raised money for his care.
And she believes other parents have benefited from seeing their experiences.
At the same time, her story shows the darker side of exposing family life online: strangers can become deeply invested in a child's personal circumstances and sometimes feel entitled to make cruel judgments about them.
Lennie is still a young child.
He cannot yet decide what parts of his medical history should follow him into adulthood.
That does not mean his story must never be shared.
But it does mean that his dignity and future privacy deserve to be considered alongside the benefits of public advocacy.
A conversation bigger than one family
Clay's experience does not have to produce a simple verdict about whether parents should or should not share children online.
One family may find an online community that becomes essential to their wellbeing.
Another may eventually decide that privacy matters more.
Both experiences can be valid.
The important question is whether parents remain conscious that they are creating a digital identity for someone who will eventually have a voice of their own.
As UNICEF and pediatric experts have emphasized, responsible sharing requires balancing the benefits of community and information with a child's privacy, safety and developing autonomy.
For parents of children with disabilities, that balance can be especially difficult.
Their stories can educate, challenge stereotypes and connect families.
But disability should never become a reason to treat a child's private life as public property.
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Editor's Note
This article is based on reporting about Candice Clay, her son Lennie and the family's experience sharing aspects of their lives online. Claims about abusive comments and the family's fundraising are attributed to Clay's account and the source report rather than independently established as facts.
The medical background regarding periventricular leukomalacia is supported by established medical sources, while the discussion of “sharenting” draws on guidance and commentary from organizations including UNICEF, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association.
The purpose of this article is not to judge Clay's parenting decisions or reproduce abusive comments directed at her child. Instead, it examines the difficult balance between disability advocacy, family support, fundraising and a child's right to privacy and dignity.
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